March 10, 2008

Having 3 Children

Is 3 a MAGIC Number ?

5 years ago I’ve already had 2 children (Dea, a girl aged 7 and Adit, a boy aged 5 ½). My husband and I thought 2 is an ideal number for having kids. I started to have my own time in more relaxing way than ever. But then my feelings hit rock-bottom when I knew I was pregnant again. That was really out of our planning. I was wondering how it will be in the years ahead. How would I cope? We knew our life wouldn’t be the same again after the third child become a reality…
So when you’re considering having a third child, here’s my experience with Dea, Adit and Ian.

Take a deep, deep breath before you start ‘the three child family’ in real. Jumping from 2 to 3 children always produces an extra workload of cooking, shopping, cleaning and plenty of works. So you will need all the patience, tolerance and ENERGY for doing all…the work!

For me the job of watching children grow and change is always delightful while the job of caring little children and running a household is the opposite one. There always be stressful times and never ending tiredness in the first or two years of having 3 children. The tiredness depends on the temperaments of your kids, the age gap between them and the important thing is how much help you’ve got from your partner. In this way, my husband was really helpful. There were many times when I felt tired and bored -everything turned out wrong to me-, he took over my job, let me alone for a while and that was really soothe my nerves.

This is my 3rd child, IAN
Now when I think back to what ever happened to me, I’m surprised I could go through the first or two “messy” years that full of bad sleeping – breastfeeding – napkin changing and sibling rivalry. I didn’t say that now we’re free from sibling rivalry. There always be at least seven possibility of “fighting” : Dea vs Adit, Dea vs Ian, Adit vs Ian, Dea + Adit vs Ian, Adit + Ian vs Dea, Ian + Dea vs Adit, Dea + Adit + Ian vs Mom …. And you could add Dad to this possibility.

A Tip From Me
* Don’t ever hesitate about employing someone to help you for the first few months of having three children. She could help you cleaning, washing, cooking, etc to save your energy.

* Get a bigger car ! This is still our future planning…
* Be friend with other moms of three. Sometimes it was really helpful.
* Regularly take the children going out with you separately, one by one in a time.
I always have nice talks and happy good times when I go out only with Dea or Adit or Ian.

* Find “me time”. You will need quality “time out” to be still a good and sane mother.
Find a way to spend at least an hour a week for doing what you wanted and liked. I used to go to a bookstore or take a course in making handy craft or just washing my
hair and take a hair spa.

With Dea aged 12 1/2, Adit aged 11 and Ian, 4, there are fewer stressful times. Now I think we’re better balanced family, they’re better balance children. They learn to share more quickly. There’s more excitement about birthdays, holidays, Christmas….a ‘richer’ interactions of family life. After the first or two difficult years, I’m totally in favor of the three child family.
3 is really a 'magic number' to me!

These are Dea and Adit, Ian's brother and sister.


e-phi said...

Yes two are great but three are the greatest for you. No matter what the number is, you have to be thankful for whatever blessings you've got.

Elaine said...

Thanks for dropping by my blog. Such delightful sharing about having 3 kids. This is my first messy year with 3 kids. I do feel exhausted at time and went berserk sometimes, but the delightful returns are just so wonderful. And kids do grow up faster than we can catch up.

david said...

I too will have 3 soon...all less than 2 years apart. I am excited, apprehensive, and scared out of my mind. I've always been a hands on "dadda" with my 2 boys, I don't know how I will handle 3...wish me luck...beautiful family you have there.