May 11, 2008

Good Days, Bad Days..

Becoming a mother is the only job in the world that has no leave even for just one day. Maybe I could get off from kids and hubby for a moment, an hour or a day, but still keep busy in mind remembering them. Never really 'free' like the way when I take a leave on my job at preschool and could 'erased' all the stuff linked to it perfectly from my mind. That's why (maybe..) becoming a mother sometimes could turned me "crazy" because of no leaving times....

I believed that's true. There always be some good days and bad days in my motherhood experiences for almost 13 years. (Gosh...how I could stand for so many years!)
There are days when I feel very proud and grateful to be a mom for my 3 kids (sometimes 4 when my hubby turn in to).
Like what happened yesterday when I emerged from a shopping trip with hubby and the 3kids. I don't know if it was because the pleasant of the May breezed afternoon or the warming heart I had at the moment, but it remind me how great the day had been. Usually on this days I couldn't resist to hold my husband's arm or made a call or a sms just to let him know how much I love him and appreciated on what he has done to me and kids. Of course I love these kind of days...

Unfortunately, there ia another kind of day.....
The day when I could turned into a "monster" to the 3 little angels. A day when i seem to be loud speaking, irritable, impatient and unsympathetic with them. Truly, I hate those days. I know kids also have their good days and bad as well, like me normally, and it should be my responsibility for any inappropriate behaviour or poor examples I may exhibit to them.

I imagine this morning if there's a potion that could enable me to have good days more than bad days. A kind of potion that could helped me prepare my kids' endless parade of meals from breakfast till dinner with a bontiful joy; the messy they made at living room ... could inspired me to give thanks for many blessings; the forever chaos they made at the backseat of our car...could remind me of the beautiful easy listening songs I loved,.
ha ha ha... what a perfect mom it was!

But no, I don't want to be the one.
I just want to be me. Let my kids know I'm just normally human being with good moods and bad sometimes, could be a strong as well as a weak mom. Let them learn from that matter like the way I always learned being a mom to them. For me, motherhood is a continuous learning process forever. I just hope I could be 'a better me' day after day as a mom....

4 comments:

mumsgather said...

Haha. I want a special potion too.

henny said...

Really? So then you're a real mom..
I think every "normal" mom would be interested in that special potion.

E-phi said...

You don't need to be a perfection coz You've already perfect mother naturally to your kids. Trust me!

henny said...

Wow, what a wonderful comment for this beautiful morning! Thank u.