August 18, 2008

Yesterday, I Had A Great Time With My Daughter

Yesterday afternoon I had a great time with my daughter. We’re both watching HBO channel and see a movie of “How to make the American Quilt”. One of the actresses was Winona Ryder and the other were quite famous middle aged actresses I think, but I don’t know their names. The story was about 6 different middle aged women who gather at a sewing club and they all made beautiful quilting with different styles, but their entire quilt patterns had their own private memories from the past. Winona as one of their grand daughter and a want-to-be married-soon young woman finally had gotten so much life lessons from all those women.

Well, I don’t just want to share about the movie, but the nicest time I had with my daughter. As you know, having a teenage daughter and become her mom could be a hardest “job” ever in this world for me. Sometimes I don’t get in for the way her thinking or doing something. Too much read and too many theories from the books about raising teenagers could give me more terrible headaches in some way. I found the easiest experiences with my boy who turned to be 13th next January (becoming another teens in my life) than with her.

Back to our nicest time yesterday…
We both enjoyed the movie and discussed it while watching, a really nice conversation. As a young girl she has a good “taste” in watching movies. Sometimes I surprised how could she enjoy themes of the movie that I think a little bit “heavy and serious” to her. She does like kids’ movies, but she also loves the ones with full of life lesson or something we can learn from it. If the movies turned to those themes then only she and I were sitting in front of the TV.
From what we had experienced yesterday, I just had realized maybe if I start the ‘other’ conversations right from something what she likes (not what I like) then we would have a nice one in comfortable ambience. Maybe I should try to start reading her magazine, also speak something “silly” like the way she used to talk with her brothers, closed my eyes and mouth when entering her room, stop for a while for always said "Get down your feet from that table", such thing like that.

To those wonderful moms out there, maybe you have something special to share with me (so I can learn again) about your teens? I really appreciate it and thank you so much for your sharing. I believe in you more than those theories I had ever read :)

8 comments:

Shelly G and Hope P said...

I spent yesterday with my oldest daughter Noel (13 years) watching movies and having just a quiet time together. For some reason my bed in my room is a place where everyone winds up... We will watch movies or just talk while we are all laying around. I have found these times so nice because they feel comfortable and then conversations seem to take place.

Also when Noel gets home from school she usually heads to my room first to spend some time... It helps me to see how she is doing. I don't always ask her how school was, because that can frustrate her when she is just getting back home.

I still say all the mother things like... Clean up your mess or take out the trash... So that never really changed as my older children got older...

I wanted to be their friends, but I was always mother first and they knew not to cross over...

Movie time is very nice... I am glad you got to spend that time :)

mumsgather said...

Henny, I'm trying to learn from you cos you're there first. :)

Suzanne said...

Teenagers can be hard at times, mainly because they are growing so fast and their bodies changing and this makes them very tired and a little more irritable. My son is now 16, he was a little moody at 13 and maybe a bit disrespectful. He would not study or try at school. Lately he has changed, he is so much more mature and a very respectful young man, who people often compliment me on and his studies have gone so well. Maybe as parents we need patience to wait for this to happen, not sure.
I do think boys are easier than girls, as my daughter will be turning 13 later this year and I need to keep her busy with sport otherwise she wants to shop all day with friends. I will probably need your advice for teenage girls.

ellen said...

Henny, it sounds as if you had a really nice day with your daughter. I am so glad. I have no advice, I never had a daughter. It sounds to me as if you are doing a terrific job. I am happy you had this time together.
I never saw the movie, but read the book years ago and just loved it!
Take care, friend.

henny said...

Shelly & Suzanne,
I'm so glad to know both of you also have a daughter aged 13. So I could share with you anything about teenage girl. Thanks!

MG,
ok..it's my pleasure to share, but remember no mom has ever been expert to face her teens :)

Ellen,
at least your comment could encourage me. To read all your comments before I know for sure you had succeed through this difficult times years before and I can learn from you :)

Tammy said...

We try to have a mother/daughter night, me and Aurora, once a month where we watch a movie together, eat junk food, give each other facials, and talk. I think it's a great way to stay close to her and find out what's going on with her and if there is anything she needs to talk about.

henny said...

Tammy,
that's an interesting idea...
Maybe I should try.

Xtina said...

I usually treat my already adult kids (18 & 24) as friends. That works good for me ;-)) we enjoy spending time better that way.