A little bit 'Serious Conversation'

I usually have conversation with Ian in the car on our way to his preschool every morning. The topics could be various, from a silly one to a rather serious matter for kid. Since only two of us in the car (the other 2 go by their school van). I really enjoyed our special “quiet time” with no quarrel between the boys (sometimes I sick in hearing their quarrels in the car!).

This morning I was a bit surprised when finally we got a little bit serious conversation after heard news from a local radio about a member of Indonesian Legislative Assembly had been caught last night in doing corruption transaction with an industrialist. Here in Indonesia, the government seems seriously this time to overcome this ‘sickness’ of our nation. I really hope we could see the good result in the next generation.

Ian asked me, “What’s the meaning of corruption, Ma?”
Didn’t prepare in answering, I said, “ehmm..let me think for a few minutes to find a simple example for you”.
Really, it was difficult for me to find one and explaining clearly to a 5 years old boy.
Then I told him like this..

“For example there are 3 people who want to build a main public street at our city. They are you, your friend Andrew and some one else named Evan. The government should only choose one of you to build it, the best one in making street construction. But at the end, the people from government choose Evan although he’s not good at all. Evan had given some money to the people from the government so that they choose him. Giving and receiving some money like that is not right and you can call that corruption. Do you get it?”

Oh my goodness….I don’t know what the better and simpler story at that time to tell.
Ian was smiling and nodded his head. I don’t know if he’s really understand or not.
I think I should find another simple example.
Any suggestion?

Another Conversation after Praying in the Car

“Why the sky is so blue after I open my eyes, Ma, not just like ‘the same blue’ I saw before I pray?”, he asked from the back chair after finished his pray for Dad. I took a look at the sky.. no, I think it still the same sky…(adult’s thinking)

Thinking for a sec then I told him maybe because his eyes had just recently closed and rested for a while, so when he open his eyes then he would feel a little bit different, more relaxed so he saw a more blue sky then before. (Oh oh…did I give him right explanation?)

Not satisfied to what I said then he told me, “Yesterday you didn’t say like that..”.
“Oh, what did I say then?”, really I forgot.
“Already forgot? When I asked you after praying, remember…? You said because I pray to the people I loved with a happy heart so when I open my eyes after praying then I’ll see the sky more blue then before.”

Oh yes, I remember, I remember….Yesterday I said like that to him after he pray at the car. I don’t know why he like to pray at the car these 2 days in a row. So.. gosh, I gave him 2 answers.
“Well, honey. I think both of them could be right. I’ll check the book or we’re googling together after school, ok?”
End conversation. Better get googling now after post this and before I'll pick him up :)

Yesterday, I Had A Great Time With My Daughter

Yesterday afternoon I had a great time with my daughter. We’re both watching HBO channel and see a movie of “How to make the American Quilt”. One of the actresses was Winona Ryder and the other were quite famous middle aged actresses I think, but I don’t know their names. The story was about 6 different middle aged women who gather at a sewing club and they all made beautiful quilting with different styles, but their entire quilt patterns had their own private memories from the past. Winona as one of their grand daughter and a want-to-be married-soon young woman finally had gotten so much life lessons from all those women.

Well, I don’t just want to share about the movie, but the nicest time I had with my daughter. As you know, having a teenage daughter and become her mom could be a hardest “job” ever in this world for me. Sometimes I don’t get in for the way her thinking or doing something. Too much read and too many theories from the books about raising teenagers could give me more terrible headaches in some way. I found the easiest experiences with my boy who turned to be 13th next January (becoming another teens in my life) than with her.

Back to our nicest time yesterday…
We both enjoyed the movie and discussed it while watching, a really nice conversation. As a young girl she has a good “taste” in watching movies. Sometimes I surprised how could she enjoy themes of the movie that I think a little bit “heavy and serious” to her. She does like kids’ movies, but she also loves the ones with full of life lesson or something we can learn from it. If the movies turned to those themes then only she and I were sitting in front of the TV.
From what we had experienced yesterday, I just had realized maybe if I start the ‘other’ conversations right from something what she likes (not what I like) then we would have a nice one in comfortable ambience. Maybe I should try to start reading her magazine, also speak something “silly” like the way she used to talk with her brothers, closed my eyes and mouth when entering her room, stop for a while for always said "Get down your feet from that table", such thing like that.

To those wonderful moms out there, maybe you have something special to share with me (so I can learn again) about your teens? I really appreciate it and thank you so much for your sharing. I believe in you more than those theories I had ever read :)