December 12, 2008

I Love You, Natalie...

I’ve just recently watched a VCD of “A Land of Women” this night while waiting for my hubby’s arrival from Jakarta. It was really a good movie, and touching. It’s about 5 different women from different generations, 2 moms, a little girl, a teenager, a young woman and a grandma completed with all their complex relationship. The movie has a beautiful ending that everyone finally got better relationships and knew better about them selves and people they loved so much after a fine writer young man came into their lives unexpectedly.

This movie had just reminded me to my relationship with my dear teenage daughter. I want to share with you that we don’t always have good relationship, up and down along this year. Sometimes I feel surprised to what she had done or said (I’m pretty sure she feel the same about me). I know that it has never been easy to have 2 teenagers all at once at home, my boy is a little bit easier then my girl. Sometimes I couldn’t control myself when I get mad–snapping and yelling- then felt regret after that, make a little note of “I’m sorry” or even a short letter to tell I love them so much that I put in her/his wardrobe.

Remembering to my own adolescent age, I think I had that kind of relationship too with my mom, up and down along the way. As an adolescent I may come to look down on my mom and think that other woman are much better. Of course, I wasn’t a fully grown up woman so I couldn’t understand the challenges and choices that my mom faced. It is only when I become a woman (with kids) then I can fully appreciate my mother.
Really, I know that I can be wrong or can not be “the best of moms” for my daughter. (So dear Natalie..for the mistakes I have made I’m sorry).
All I know that I always love her forever and hope we have better relationship next year. That is one of my new year's resolution :)

What about you in your relationship with your teenager, I mean how did you cope difficult times in facing them? I really appreciate if you want to share..


Heart of Rachel said...

Sounds like a heartwarming film.

My son is still young so I still don't have any experience when it comes to raising a teenager.

I had a good relationship with my mom when I was a teenager. I told her everything. She was like a friend to me. She wasn't too strict. I remember how she and my Dad kept telling me how much they trusted me.

Until now I'm grateful to have a close relationship with both my parents.

ellen said...

Dear Henny..I have never had a daughter, only sons and I am grateful for them. It was not always easy as I am sure it is not with a daughter. Going through the teen years is hard on everyone it was on me at least with our boys. I cannot say anything about a daughter.
I can say that I lost my mother way too early...not through death, but through an illness and I still miss her so much. She gave me so much as I am sure that you are giving to your daughter.
Hang in there sweet person, your heart is in the right place.
Best to you , e.

Monica said...

My kids are still too young, but I try very hard to build up my relationship with them in a way that when they're teenagers, hopefully, they'll count on me as a friend. It's not always easy though, sometimes I don't have enough patient. My relationship with my mom was good overall, although we have very different personalities, and sometimes, like you, though that other moms were better to their kids...but now that I have my own kids, I see my mom as a role model and i hope to be like her as a mom, she was and is the best! I think no matter how hard things are with our children, the best way to handle it is to never forget to let them know how much we care and love then through hugs, kisses, letters, notes, or anything that get the message to them.